My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
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