I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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