Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
