Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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