whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
