..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
