Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
