i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
