just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
