I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
