Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
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I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
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I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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