You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Randomize
