i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
