I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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