What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
You know, be my cock's hype man.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
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New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.