I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.