you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
