1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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