Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
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