So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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