just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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