What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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