Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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