i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize