My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
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