ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
The feeling are messing with the penis
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
