OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
