Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
