Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Randomize
