belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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