He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
