the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
