literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize