office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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