Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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