it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
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