i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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