between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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