I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
