I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
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I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
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I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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