No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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