Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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