You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
