Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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