Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
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