Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Randomize
