Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize