Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
