Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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