I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
where does the pee come out of this thing
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Someone shattered a urinal.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
you never un-have a 4some
Randomize
