Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
