I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
