i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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