I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Randomize
