Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize