We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
one might say we're banned from that church
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
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