do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
