dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I AM VODKA MAN
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
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