He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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