i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
And then he peed in my hair
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
