I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Randomize
